And the winner is…

…mulishness! I think. Like so many of you on this cancer roller coaster, it is hard for me to get definitive answers. But. It’s looking like at least part of my theory is correct… that it’s not cancer that keeps creating masses in my brain. At least my latest brain mass isn’t.

If this post isn’t making any sense to you, you may not have read the last post, Miracles, magic, metastases, marijuana, meditation, meningitis, manifestation, and mulishness. I recommend going back to read it because there are lessons here for all of us in our healing journeys. 

As I’ve outlined, I’ve had now 12 ‘diagnosed brain tumors’ to date, 8 of them leptomeningeal. First, in 2014, I had 9, meditated and ingested high dose, high-quality CBD and 4 disappeared, making me eligible for targeted radiation on the remaining 5. So, Cannabis and I are miracle workers, right? Then October 2019, they found a large central mass in the control center of my brain, it was a dire prognosis of imminent doom and I tripled my daily dose of THC/CBD and meditated (I “blew it up” with a mental firecracker) and 2.5 months later, it was gone without a trace. Damn, I’m good, right? So, it stays gone for a year and a half, then reappears as two smaller tumors in the same spot. What the heck kind of brain tumor acts like that?

So, I got busy researching, came up with an alternate hypothesis, worked with a doctor who didn’t think I was crazy, and I appear to have prevailed. On Monday, I had an MRS, spectroscopy being the key word… it analyzes the nature of the brain mass. It didn’t tell me what exactly IS the nature of the mass but did deliver the proclamation… “not consistent with malignancy.” AND… the mass is now only one small one, basically half the size. Wondering if maybe the fact that the mass isn’t completely gone means that my meningitis theory isn’t correct? But in 2019, it was 2.5 months later that we knew the mass was gone. This has been only a month… Maybe if I continue my protocol (which includes Cannabis because it treats my meningitis successfully, which explains why it played a role in the previous masses disappearing) for another month, it will disappear completely. 

In case you want to compare last week’s post which included my scan from early July, here’s last weeks…

8/2/21 Brain mass

And here’s last month’s…

7/5/21 2 brain masses

It’s hard to tell from this view (last week’s post has a view that shows the “binary star system”), but it’s now actually one 6mm mass instead of two 7mm and 8mm masses…

Either way… brain mass apparently isn’t cancer, which is HUGE. So, most likely, NONE of my brain masses have been cancer. And I had radiation on five of them leaving me with scar tissue the size of the masses they replaced. Probably, unnecessarily. All because my doctors at the time refused to think outside the box. True, I had tumors on every vertebrae, crushing seven of them, so it was a logical conclusion, but three different spinal taps did not yield cancer cells on slides. No biopsies were done. And now, my radiation oncologist, who would be the one blasting away, thinks I’m brilliant, and that I just saved myself unnecessary radiation and scar tissue in an area of the brain that could precipitate Parkinson’s or worse, permanent motor damage.

Even now, my medical oncologist doesn’t believe me that I have been battling Mollaret’s Meningitis for 40 years because a doctor didn’t diagnose it and I haven’t died from it and his experience as an intern (!)  was that people with meningitis die. That’s because doctors have been entirely useless in that regard. I almost died from it… twice. So, I researched it and  diagnosed it myself and learned how to treat it and stave off attacks before they require hospitalization myself… for 40 years! Hell, even Wikipedia will tell you that people with Mollaret’s rarely die. But do I get even enough credibility for him to Google it himself? Or consult his medical books and journals. Hell no… he wants to blast me with chemo.. even now when the Spectroscopy says its not cancer!

Who would YOU go with? The one who thinks you’re a quack and stays stuck in his med school rut and wants to give you unnecessary carcinogenic poison? Or the one who thinks you’re brilliant and wants to spare your brain if there’s any chance?

So, what are the lessons I wish to impart?

• No one will care more about your survival than you. You need to be your own advocate, believe in yourself, and take charge of your healing journey.
• “They have a body of knowledge. You have knowledge of your body.” – Christianne Northrup, MD. Listen to your gut, talk to your body, follow your intuition, stick to your guns.
• Do whatever research you can about your particular situation. Think outside the box. If you’ve read any of my books, it is clear that I have a peculiar medical history. But, you know what? We ALL have our medical peculiarities. It’s best that you know as much as possible about yours.
• I believe in you nd your ability to heal. Never forget that. 

So, I hope my latest odyssey has been helpful to you. Please remember that, as part of my Thrive Tribe, I am here for you, and you may feel free to contact me for inspiration or information so you don’t just go off and die because someone in a white coat said you would.

You can and will prevail. Make it so. Love you all.