My Free Blogs
My “I’m Gonna Live Until I Die” Rap
You say I’m metastatic, and that I’m gonna die.
But I prefer to be ecstatic, not make my loved ones cry
So don’t harsh my mellow, with all your doom and gloom.
I’m gonna be a flower, and then I’m gonna bloom.
You say that you can’t fix me, and that I’ll keep on breaking.
But, hey, look at me, I’m walking, I tell you I ain’t faking.
See, it’s all in our minds. We create our reality.
In your mind I have cancer. In mine, I’m a dancer.
Maybe you believe in heaven, or aliens above.
But no matter who your god is it’s all about the love.
Love is the glue that sticks us all together.
It’s the fabric of the universe… it creates our inner weather.
And when we fill ourselves with love,
And everyone around us
Our ability to heal is unparalleled and boundless.
Silly, naïve Kai… Poor, pitiful fool
When she gonna learn she ain’t making all the rules?
The hell you say!
Twice you say I’m gonna die and then I don’t.
Now you say I’m gonna die again… Hell, now, I just won’t!
You say the cancer’s back. I say it can’t be there.
See for the first time in my life I have great hair!
Again, I’m gonna lose it?
Unless maybe I don’t choose it…
just the thought of cancer fills me with despair!
Cancer… sick, psycho puppetmaster!
You ain’t the boss of me
I’m gonna live until I die…
Just you wait and see!
– kaiulani facciani
About Me
My journey with breast cancer began in August 2007. After a roller coaster ride from hell, I thought it was over after 6 months. But 5 years later, it reared it’s ugly head with a frightening terminal diagnosis of Stage IV metastatic cancer. By 2012, tumors had crushed several vertebrae in my neck and spine and split my sacro-iliac joint apart. I lost the use of my legs and one arm and had lesions on my liver, lungs, and lymph nodes. I was told I would likely not walk again and that I wouldn’t be alive in two months. My son was overseas.
With nothing to lose, I threw everything I could at healing. I employed a strict naturopathic regimen, received chemotherapy and radiation, and meditated on spiritual healing. I worked hard to rebuild joints and muscles and survive the cancer and toxic medicine. 13 months after diagnosis, most of my tumors were gone and I had regained 99% mobility. Although still considered terminal, I felt like I was going to live forever.
Then, Halloween of 2013, they found a rare and dangerous type of brain metastases with an average survival of 2.8 months after diagnosis (leptomeningeal carcinomatosis). The tumors were inoperable, not eligible for targeted radiation, and most chemotherapies couldn’t penetrate the blood-brain barrier (which also kept targeted immunotherapy out). I had to get creative.
I’m still alive… for now… and I am NEAD (No Evidence of Active Disease)!
By sharing my journey, I wish to encourage and empower you to take charge of your life and to defeat the obstacles that may face you. Perhaps my path will spark you to take note of your own experiences in a new way. One that allows you to incorporate the lessons you are learning into a formula for positive change. – Kaiulani Facciani
Cliff Notes version of Diagnoses, Western Medicine Treatments, and alternative remedies of note:
Kaiulani Facciani
- October, 2007 – Diagnosis of DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ – stage 0)
- March, 2008 – Preventive unilateral (right) mastectomy, MD Anderson. 6 sentinel lymph nodes unremarkable except for slight trace of cytokeratin
- October, 2012 – Diagnosis of Stage IV metastatic breast cancer, HER2+, ER/PR-. Mets to lungs, liver, lymph, throughout spine and pelvis. Prognosis less than 2 months survival. Lost full use of legs and one arm from tumors crushing 5-7 vertebrae and splitting sacro-iliac joint in hip. Began strict changes to diet and ingestion of naturopathic remedies (see “What I did and do and why” blog.)
- October, 2012 – January, 2013 – Carboplatin (5x), Taxol (13x), Herceptin (4x), Zometa (4x). Radiation treatments to pelvis (21x), to neck (15x), to T11 mid-spine area (10x). Against doctors’ orders, joined fitness club, and began to work out carefully doing aqua-robics, circuit training, and yoga.
- January, 2013 – present – Herceptin & Perjeta every 3 wks, Zometa every 6 wks (now every 6 mos).
- November, 2013 – 9 metastases/tumors identified in parietal lobe and cerebellum. Leptomeningeal involvement implies just weeks to live. 1 dose of intrathecal Methotrexate administered. Not expected to do anything but perhaps buy time. Tried Tykerb (crosses blood-brain barrier, Herceptin and Perjeta don’t), but liver, pancreas, and heart couldn’t tolerate it so no full dose admnistered. Quadrupled daily ingestion of Cannabis Oil, removed infected root canal tooth, and focused on intensive daily meditation.
- December, 2013 – Largest tumor (parietal) and 3 mets gone without a trace. 1 IT Methotrexate dose administered. Adverse reaction.
- March, 2014 – Of remaining 5 mets, 3 stable, 2 show significant progression. 1 IT dose Methotrexate. Adverse reaction.
- May, 2014 – 5 stereotactic radiosurgery (SRS) treatments to cerebellum.
- September, 2014 – PET, brain MRI NEAD (no evidence of active disease)
- Present – While periodic brain MRIs occasionally show new suspicious masses, they have thus far turned out to be scar tissue from the radiation or previously existing ‘spots’. I continue to insist on watching and waiting and have avoided unnecessary radiation treatments. Most recent NEAD scans December 2018.
- Update: I was diagnosed with a large and worrisome brain tumor in the center of my brain (so… difficult to treat) in October, 2019. I had moved to Puerto Rico and the doctors there did not feel comfortable treating it so they sent me back to the states. While selling and packing everything and moving and procuring new insurance for the states, I meditated and tripled my cannabis oil intake and a few other things. When I landed in the states, I had a brain MRI (1/3/20), and the tumor was completely gone without a trace! This happened after I had finished the book, but my experience and protocol will be covered in an upcoming post.
Breast Cancer Wellness article
Telluride Inside article
Radical Remission profile
Kaiulani Facciani – Metastatic Cancer Survivor and Thriver – Kaiulani Facciani
Published by Snarling Wolf, Inc., a non-profit organization dedicated to providing inspiration, information, and support to people facing challenges, including health challenges, including cancer.